The lightness of being
Ever since i first saw the cover of The Unbearable Lightness Of Being in the mid eighties ( i was 9 or 10 years old) it struck me, and evoked some very interesting thought processes. At that age i didn’t have an intellectual concept of “being”, nor that it could be light, and the “unbearable” concept haunted me, not in the sense of something to be feared, just why? Why was it unbearably light, it had a negative connotation in my mind, and since i have been as long as i can remember an optimist, i searched for an answer. In the twenty six years that followed i have found many different view points on the title of that book, and this morning i awoke to another incantation. I cannot find any reason why this came up this morning, as i haven’t seen the book in ages, but here goes: The lightness of being is only unbearable when i allow it to be, and that is through my perception of what life is supposed to look like through the eyes of others. When i buy into how a life is to be lived according to media, my friends, parents (yes even deceased ones) and society at large, it becomes unbearable, where it doesn’t need to be.
Being is lightness, actually being is quite literally light, and that light is not intended to wither, it is there to create, to inspire. So it is up to me to filter out that which does not promote freedom and self-expression, so i may live my life, and say: i did it my way.
.
In the early rays of dawn, like the dew on the leaves gaining mass by force of the rising temperature and the gravity pulling the weight towards the edge of the leaf, tears crest over the edge of my eyelid as the i let go for a moment of the fear that has held it grasp, fueled by roots of misinformation, altering the DNA that held in place a structure that is destined to break, and lose it’s structural integrity, bit by bit, through the natural force of destruction and recreation, until it no longer has the strength to sustain itself……In the wake of what was once my life, and as i realize now through no fault of my own, The path had come to a crossroads, and through a process of osmosis a directional shift had taken place, I was once again in the sun, where the dew mingled with the tears, and thru the pain of another, I was able to free my own.
I am one of the lucky ones, though many would not see it that way, nor would wish to trade with me, the way i see it though, i was given a gift, and as i came close to death many times, the last time i realized i have nothing to lose, I have once again seen through the illusion of failure, and I defend it with my life.
See the world
When I attended High school in California for a semester at age 14, I got the gift of some very distinct memories that stuck with me.
- First, I’m not a fan of waterbeds.
- Second, It’s fairly insane to send teenagers to school.
- Third, I can sleep just about anywhere, anytime.
- But then, the real one…….
In the office of one of the teachers, there was a huge map of the world on the wall, on it where pins, and tiny flags showing where the teacher had been (there were a-lot of them), and below the map was a big banner with the words “SEE THE WORLD BEFORE YOU LEAVE IT”.
Now this was one of those times where I got a feeling for the possibilities in life, a feeling that I’d had since early childhood, one of limitlessness, of anything being possible if only I dare dream it. And it is that feeling, one that transcends the physical, one that I sense when I imagine Einstein’s theory of relativity, one that makes it possible for me to be present on the other side of the world, not in a bodily sense, in a spiritual way, right here, right now.
You see, I don’t believe that dreams aren’t real, and I’d say when your life is more recurring than your dreams, it’s time to look at which one is real.
As a wise man once said on living your dreams “those who say it can’t be done should not interrupt those who are doing it”.
Sweet dreams.
Jonah
The purpose
The point where something, anything stops serving a purpose, and becomes the purpose, is usually the point where it stops working….
Let’s look at relationships, they’re wonderful, and in most cases it can be hard to be who we really are in the early stages, why? Simple answer, fear. Fear of rejection, of not being good enough, of what others will think of us, and often that’s when the part of a relationship that served a purpose (companionship, similar interests, attraction, fun, etc) becomes the purpose. The turning point where something that was good, free, and joyous becomes dishonest, impure, and strained. Now I’ve fallen in this trap many a times, and have thus found it important to look at why this happened, low self-esteem, not knowing what I really wanted out of life, and not really even knowing who I was, where some of the culprits high on the list. Let me take a similar approach to jobs, fear of not making enough money to pay the bills, society’s ideas of what life should look like, and not really knowing what I wanted out of life has dictated much of the work I’ve done, now don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret any of it, as I’m happy where I am today, but at the time even though I was able to put joy and enthusiasm into the work I was doing, I ended up disliking what I did after a certain amount of time as I felt I wasn’t fulfilling my dreams, I’d set them aside for the security of a steady paycheck. Similarly in relationships it was great for a time, but as the realization hit that I wasn’t being true to myself as I didn’t know who that was, I started look for ways out, and it was the beginning of the end. Now in moving away from the much traveled path I am often amazed at the negative feedback that is offered to most people who dare to even try to realize their dreams, not that it really comes as a surprise, but I am learning how to recognize true friendship in the process, and being my own friend is absolutely essential to that. That is (among others) what this blog is about.
Best regards
ozagno 